Day 24

Today’s reading was basically perfect.

While discussing bad faith as self-deception through an imbalanced conflict of transcendence and facticity, I thought, okay. I can see this --but it wasn't that great.  We make excuses to ourselves, to others, but so what? What are excuses besides a weakness of character? Take responsibility for your actions, your thoughts, your emotions -- grow up. So on and so forth.

And then all of a sudden, we add being-for- others into the mix and I feel it.

Bad Faith, you suck.

In class we were asked which one leads to the better life, adopting a policy to avoid bad faith as much as possible, or having a policy of not avoiding bad faith. I believe the first option, by far. But am I going to tell someone that? No, probably not, but then I think…

And I have told people --just not in those words.

I have been frustrated by people who live in bad faith overwhelmed with transcendence and those overwhelmed with facticity and other’s judgment. It’s a weakness and it’s an annoying one. I don’t want to deny anyone their happiness, but living in bad faith doesn’t always equate to some sort of artificial happiness. It can mean artificial misery. Can misery be artificial? Can happiness? Especially with other’s judgment and facticity, that is not a pleasant thing.

Moving through my life, I want to reflect and think, Yeah, I was miserable, but it was my choice and I let myself be. Or, yeah, I was happy because I worked hard to be. I do not want to be the girl who complains and says she has no friends because people don’t understand her, but she doesn’t even try to let them. I do not want to be the guy who says he’ll get a job when God gives him one, and I do not want to be the person who fails to act in fear of what other’s would think.

Concisely I am saying that someone may, for a while, be equally happy with both options. But the one who takes responsibility will be living a much more meaningful life.

Side Note:

Ben’s quote in class today was really great. He needs to put it against a black and white photograph, share it on Facebook, and watch it be misused by English-speaking teenagers around the world. “I would rather know why I am sad than not know why I am happy.”

I like to buy my books from local book stores. One of my favorite things is to take some cash and an evening, and browse for a book. But a little while ago, I decided that I would buy No Exit. Unfortunately the store just had Nausea (by Jean Paul Sartre) so I decided to buy it. And I enjoyed reading it and got a lot out of it, but after reading the excerpt from No Exit, I really want to read it.

“Hell is --- other people”