RRQA Day 1

I think nearly everything counts as personal freedom. I think it’s different to feel free than to be free though. For me I usually feel most free and I consider the “free” feeling as a feeling of lightness or possibilities. I can do anything, think anything, be anything (or start doing, being, and thinking anything at least). But actual freedom is different. I think physical freedom is always present, but thinking and feeling freedom are something else entirely. Sometimes I can learn or think something and it will never go away, just sit there (if thoughts could sit) inside my mind and oppress my actions taking away the “free” feeling. I may still be free, but I no longer feel it. This is a concept that I thought Solomon was trying to convey in the introduction.

This past year I have been unable to watch T.V., play video games or read fiction without feeling a lasting guilt afterwards. My guilt over reading has changed recently however, since having taking an ENG 200 course and having Corri Wells as a professor. I now am reading through classic literature like it’s my job and I’m a workaholic. Anyways, I felt like I was literally running away from my mind and I could be spending my time doing more “meaningful” things. Not that I understand what meaningful is, but I am sure at this point in time, that losing my mind is not it.  I fear this is making me a boring person. I tell myself to lighten up. I imagine people I respect saying, “Haley, it is okay. Lighten Up.” Then for a moment I do, and feel guilty all over again. It’s not something I can just get rid of, although it would be nice if I could.  And it’s not like this feeling has made me a social anomaly. I still watch movies with friends. Sure, maybe I search for something significant while doing it and analyze it instead of feel it, but it’s an internal thing. I still have fun. I still tease my sisters, dance, sing my favorite songs and my not-so-favorite songs that I can’t get out of my head, climb trees, etc . I’m a normal person.

              

  When I was a sophomore in high school, I thought I was an “individual.” Then I read this t-shirt that said something along the lines of, “You’re unique, just like everyone else.” (T-Shirt of Unknown Origin). The shirt was covered with snowflake pictures. It was sassy. I interpreted it as, “No snow flake is exactly alike, but it’s still a snowflake. It was, to me, a get over yourself shirt – so I did—but I still come into acquaintance with people who are just so themselves that it makes me believe that there are unique people. I think it is confidence. Actually, I am doubtful confidence is the “unique” causal factor, but I have yet to meet an unconfident person who I view as unique. And whenever I imagine an “ordinary” person. I add confidence, and now they are an extraordinary person.

…..

 I just changed my mind. I imagined a unique insecure person. But the imagined person was lacking the positive connotation of the word “unique.”

 I don’t know.

 We’re all snowflakes.

 I could think about this all day. (RRQA Day 1 End)

Side note: I planned on writing about today’s class, but I also wanted to respond to the questions listed. As a shortened class commentary:

 I wondered why people chose to share what they did. Like in the introduction, Solomon wrote about how Sartre felt uncomfortable defining Existentialism because it wraps it up and ties the knot(or the not), but it is not something that can be wrapped up. I felt like we were acting in a similar way giving ourselves wrapping paper. This is why I dislike introductions. Hi. My name is Haley. My hobby is gardening.  That’s it.