Friday, July 19, 2013

Day 9

About the person who has read all of Kierkegaard and still tries to create a subjective truth within the identity of the coffee mug.

What is the point of it?  If the person who says, “you are crazy,” that is definitely not so.” is the one who is “objectively” wrong. Because surely, the Kierkegaard expert would know.

No.

This is my teenage angst post.

I’m frustrated.  What is the point of struggling when it changes nothing. What is the point in working hard? Is it possible to find an internal satisfaction without looking to others validation? Their judgment.  I’m not appreciated on the level I should be. I hear that so often, I think that so often. But at what level of appreciation would be sufficient.  As an equal? Respect-worthy? People fight for equality, but struggle to be different. I don’t understand. I don’t understand. I don’t understand.  In class people claimed judgment is bad, “who has the right to judge?.” Some said nobody. But if it is so wrong, why does everyone need it to 
be happy.

So even if it happens. You reach that positive judgment from that person or group of people you’re seeking it from. For a moment you are happy, but what happens after that? Who do you need to be appreciated by now because I doubt it ends there. Yourself?  So what if Clamence is terrible, he did everyone a favor. But what if you’re simultaneously judging yourself while still seeking others' positive judgment.  Where is the escape in that? Did Clamence find it? No, he’s still there, even now, in Mexico City.  I know we've moved on from Camus, but I haven’t.

“I have just returned from a party of which I was the life and soul; wit poured from my lips, everyone laughed and admired me—but I went away—and the dash should be as long as the earth’s orbit———————and wanted to shoot myself.” – Kierkegaard


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